just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
