Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
