yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
