my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
