Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
