You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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