I need help removing her.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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