Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
