wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize