so explain again why im purple
no
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
