i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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