He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
