I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish I only lived at night.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
