I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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