I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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