i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
