I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
