I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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