Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
