Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
