i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
