we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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