I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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