Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
