ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
