You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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