Someone shit on the floor
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
