If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
