a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
