My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
be right there i have to get my cape
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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