I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
