So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
