Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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