i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
