Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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