piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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