I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
