Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
