Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
