Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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