This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
