i already hear my dad disowning me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
