Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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