hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
smell my finger.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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