so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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