You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
