Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
