I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
