i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
