walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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