I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
