ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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