I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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