What did we do last night that was yellow?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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