three words: i give head
three words: not that well
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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