i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
