PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
