Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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