I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
