just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
