I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
