did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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